Appears in. Alan: Pretty much, yeah. It’s another crank call. This has got a very haunting quality. Written By: Peter Baynham, Steve Coogan, Armando Iannucci, Cast: Steve Coogan (Alan Partridge), Phil Cornwell (Dave Clifton), Barbara Durkin (Susan), Simon Greenall (Michael), James Lance (Ben), Felicity Montagu (Lynn Benfield), Sally Phillips (Sophie), Graham Linehan (Aidan Walsh), Arthur Mathews (Paul Tool), Ian Sharrock (Jed Maxwell). Alan: [Writing] To Jed Maxwell, from Alan Partridge. Alan: Just a joke. Leaving Alan lumbered with his obsessed fan. Alan: But that’s where you make them. One bird typically weighs 1 to 2 lbs. I’ll give you a Chinese burn! Would you like to recruit me?I like your beret’s. Goodbye. Yes. Sue Hasty, HMI, further education ... Christine Cook, HMI, maintained schools and academies. Jed: Yeah. Aidan: Where is it? Alan: Yes, I do as a matter of fact I’ve got one here. Where’s the road? Jed: I’m so excited. Woman 1: Has your career gone off the rails a bit? Jed: Thanks very much. Mr B Oddie, this is Bill Oddie. Jed: Yeah! Alan: Glory be! Alan to himself [heading towards a dead end]: It’s a dead end! Susan: Hello, Alan. Oh, I used to go there as a little child. It’s so sterile here. See you later. Jed: Jed, Jed Maxwell. I can’t believe it! Paul: Well the “big oi-dea” is we want to produce a show that appeals to modern, mainstream audiences on both sides of the Irish sea…, [Alan falls into another daydream, this time he fantasizes about lap dancing for the RTE executives, who are dressed as IRA terrorists]. Alan: Yeah, U2. Alan: So, perhaps we could go and chat about all my other ideas in my room. Partridge gets a call to inform him that Sue Cook has pulled out. It’s funny that she’s called Sue Cook when she can’t cook, but she will sue. And business partner. Bowl of bread there. Lighten up, you … She is also a novelist and film producer, but if that isn’t enough she has played herself in two celebrated television dramas and “appeared” on Alan Partridge, portrayed as a whiskey swilling, cigarette smoking harridan. I suppose the good thing about this is you can’t hear your Geordie accent on the board. Jed: No. Alan: I think they might have found it a bit creepy. Talking out of his arse. Gerry Adams looks like a deputy headmaster and Martin McGuinness looks like a clown without make-up. Paul: Hello. You’re Alan Partridge. [Ben enters the scene, adjusting his tie], Ben: Good morning, Sophie. Michael: Ah, come on. Sue Cook (born Susan Lorraine Thomas, 30 March 1949, Ruislip, Middlesex) is a British broadcaster and author. Opening Credits Quote: Just pop your elbow on there, you’ve locked the doors. Alan: I must say, I’m very grateful you’ve come over. Alan: The food will probably… Lynn: It will just break it down. Paul: [Continuing] …the culture of both countries. Near North Wales, off the M56. she's an eejit! 00:09:29. Aidan: I must say, this is a really horrible hotel. [Ben drops the box into Alan’s hands] This’ll happen to you when you hit 40. Yeah, perched on the arm. Alan: This is David Copperfield. Viewers may also help trace a mystery youth in 'gothic' dress seen near the barn when Rachel was found. Aidan and Paul: No. I ate a scotch egg. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day, you will pay the price if you are a fussy eater. Did you sleep well? Sometimes you don’t want to. Sue has 3 jobs listed on their profile. That doesn’t even work. Lynn to Alan: Do you want a mint? There’s an urgent call for you. Alan: Yup. Welcome to Sue Cook Miniatures Dear customers, we are very busy at the moment so please be patient. Jed: Look, Alan. Dave: Arise, Sir Alan of Partridge. In the world of Alan Partridge, however, behind the scenes she is apparently a rather foul-mouthed and unreliable gambling addict with a bit of a drinking problem. Jed: In the whole world? With Sue Cook and Nick Ross On 26 August, Rachel Partridge from Chinnor, Oxfordshire, was raped and murdered. Sort of a primitive form of Stephen Hawking’s voice box. Alan: There you go Jed: What’s it about then, Alan? Partridge makes the perfect family supper, and partridge goujons are a guaranteed, fail-safe favourite. That’s the genius of its location. [They all venture out of the living room]. They forget it’s fans like us that make you what you are. Sophie: Tits? You blonde bastard… From the future. Aidan: Very nice picture of yourself on the TV. Aidan: Erm. Christine Cook is a qualified teacher and has a wealth of experience across the whole primary phase. Aidan: Actually, do you mind if I use your toilet? Took a Level in Jerkass: Sue Cook has a rather pleasant, professional and calm public persona. Alan: Yeah, can you just put ‘plus Sue Cook’? Sorry. Alan: Chester. Or for the grown-ups, try crispy buttermilk fried partridge . You know. Alan: I’ll BE your friend. You’ve got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think “Sunday, bloody Sunday!” Aidan: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it’s actually a song about… Paul: Yeah. Jed [With Alan in a headlock]: Ah! Can we have four full British Isles breakfasts, please? Bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972. Susan: Excuse me, Alan? Alan: I don’t actually agree with that. Scary Irish men! Alan: And we live together. In there, very scary, seconds count. Michael: Mr Partridge, he said he sells kitchens, right, for 15 year, but he cant cook. He didn’t create Adam and Steve. Did you take these on a telephoto lens? Alan: I’m not. Alan: God no! A brace carefully roasted will make a fine supper for two. Lots of rocks, and Beamish. Paul: Well, Aidan is from Selbridge, which is near Dublin. Lynn's notes: Alan has been planning An Afternoon with Alan Partridge - a TV show that's not on TV. You know, and shake my hand… later! Issue 2921 6 November 1979. Susan [Bringing the breakfasts]: There we go. Gadzooks! Alan: No, no. Alan [Sniffing Susan’s neck]: Actually, sorry. Lynn: Right, I’ll buy a packet of mints. Ben: Yeah. SO DO YOU WANT US TO TAKE OUT SUE COOK FOR YOU? A partridge does best when cooked with liquid in order to keep the bird juicy. Alan: I think the Irish are going through a major image change. Chips and… crinkle-cut chips. This is what I say to my mates about the anti-maskers - do they not ever look around and consider the company they keep? Paul: Terrible. Paul: You see, Alan. Afterwards a bunch of us went down to Laser Quest. I suppose that’s the opposite of what you were taught in the army. Go on, have a guess. I love your pop music. I’m coming to your afternoon. The lines are open from 6.0 pm today. Well, I also done this course at the Army School of Commando Training. Alan: Yeah. 22.00: John Peel. For treason and murder. Alan: I think that’s a great idea. Alan: “Wild Woods”? Draw the gun from the holster, knock the safety catch off, there’s one in the chamber, and move and fire and move and fire and move and fire. After inviting special guest, Sue Cook, she pulls out at the last minute. Jed: I couldn’t ask you for your autograph could I? Aidan: When you were berating that old woman, I… Alan: Did you see the look on her face? What you want to dee is, when you draw your weapon… Alan: It’s great this, I love this. We have to neutralise the threat by incapacitating the target and we do that in two areas. It’s the noble Sir David Clifton of Radioshire. Sophie: Oh yeah. A scuffle ensues, and Alan makes a break for it by pacifying Jed. You’re a mentalist! We’re going to be brunching in there. A Mr Nishead rang. Like, if I was in a group based on beliefs, then I looked around and all my compatriots were fucking idiots with no training in the matter, I would question what I was doing. “War of the Worlds”. Jed: I’ll show you something. It was a humorous intro into a song which seems to have been taken a bit too literally by one or two listeners, and a newspaper. So that’s all from me. Jed: See you next week, then. I’ll have the coffee jar, and there you go Alan [Hands Alan a container that holds washing powder] Paul: [Point at Alan’s drink] That’s one of those ball things you have in washing machines? Excellent. After the executives walk out of the chat show, Alan attempts to salvage a chance with the executives by asking them back to his room, in his house. Alan: Yeah. So if anyone wants to leave, then please, now's the time. Alan: No, not you, the woman behind you. Thank you very much. It’s not a crank call. I can’t tell you what a pleasure it is to shake your hand. I think that’s what puts me off. I think you are increasingly moving towards and area we want to move away from. Dave: And this is Blue Oyster Cult, from the album “Agents Of Fortune”. Jed: So we’re friends then? I’m up! Jed to Alan: Ahh, you haven’t lost it Alan. Curious. Alan: Yeah, it’s going to be in the system till about four. You know, camouflage. Alan: I’d love to. [Slams down the phone] Sue Cooks’ pulled out. Alan: Jed, I’ll level with you. Alan: I can never find the light switch in here. Actually, can I have a look at that list, I want to get to the bottom of this. What do you think you’re doing? Pardon? Jed: That’s right, it’s called an Aerialator! What we had to do was target identification, right. Jed: Tea’s up. Who’s he? Jed: Yeah. Jed Maxwell. Jed: Jed. Take the mask off your face, I can't tell what you're saying. Alan: Do you know, I know exactly what you mean. Alan: I always leave this here, so that way I’m always on the telly. So just to repeat, Queen Elizabeth II is not dead. Alan: Yes, I am. There have been two series, the 1st in 1997 and the 2nd in 2002. [Jed enters with a tray of tea in various vessels]. Aidan: Right, well, whatever. Jed: I like David Copperfield as well. Alan: You know, being blown up, bombs. Four teas please. [Susan holds her arm out, but Alan grabs her hand and lunges over the counter] Susan: Yeah, sure. Where I live. What do you want to do? Get dialling. You had to gang into this big building, full of people. So draw, hold, fix and fire, and then just move and fire, and move and fire, and move and fire, and move and fire!… Alan: Get back in the lift, Lynn! Michael: OK. Roger and out. [Jed grabs Alan and they scuffle] Alan: Not my face, I’m doing a photo-shoot for Vision Express! Dave: Yes! Sue Cook United Kingdom: Nighty night, folks. That’s a good one. I didn’t know you cared, Alan! Alan: No, no. Yeah. I’ve tried that one. A lot of them don’t. They’re available at the back, or reception priced £19.99, £20. Aidan: No, I was interested in something, earlier. [Takes a swig of tea] Yeah, I often think I should swallow this whole, and let is sort of slosh around my system, dispensing the coffee. Paul: Who’s the other one? The penny’s just a price rhetoric. Jed: Excuse me, Mr Partridge, can I have your autograph, please? Things don’t go too well from the start. Servs 2. Sorry. Michael: Morning, Mr Partridge. It’s surprising, really, considering the circumstances. In fact, I think I’ll go. Alan: Sophie, that’s a crank call. Alan: Break it down, yes. [Alan head back behind the screen trying to stop the keyboard from playing] Sorry about that. You must be sick of that. [He follows the words on the board with his finger] ‘3pm, An Afternoon With Alan Partridge, with Special Celebrity Guest Star Sue Cook’. Page 60 BBC Radio 1 is a radio service which began broadcasting on 30 September 1967. I’m sorry we’ve only got one mug, we don’t get a lot of visitors. Aidan: I’m from Dublin. Paul: In your room: Alan: In my room, in my house. Alan: Are you the crank caller? Alan: No, won’t be… one. Lynn: No? With Jed. Aidan: Yeah, exactly. Big fans of all the Irish, stuff. Aidan and Paul: Yes Alan: And two, can I come with you? I just would like to get out of here. Alan to Michael: Michael, change that to “An Afternoon with Just Alan Partridge”. Alan: Jed Maxwell. Who stays in a place like this. Alan: Nottingham. Live TV can blow up in your face. Alan: All right. Oh, come on! I am such a bighead. Susan: MICHAEL! Present at the show are two executives from Irish television network, RTE. Alan: Erm, well, I’ll show you. Synopsis: Alan hosts “An Afternoon With Alan Partridge” at the Travel Tavern, which is essentially a scaled down version of his TV chat show, but not on TV. Alan: It’s basically a TV show that’s not on TV. Ripped up the Pope. Alan to Susan: Susan. My guest tonight is one of television and radio’s best loved broadcasters. Good morning to you, sir. Bald chap. No, I’ve got a better idea, why don’t you shove it up your arse! “I’m an American”. Alan: Right OK, well there you go “To Jed Maxwell from Alan Smith”. Alan: I’m not old! Help me someone! Never heard of him. Aidan: No. Even though I do hate it and I don’t live here, I just pop in for breakfast. Lynn: Yes, Alan. There’s only the one chair. Jed: It took 14 hours! I’m trying to get an angle on this. I was there shouting with everyone else “Come back on, ELO, and carry on playing!”. Jed: It’s you isn’t it? Alan obliges but Jed keeps hold of his hand. Stay, don’t go! I can’t breathe. Alan: I think it’s the best idea, in the world. Alan: Yeah. And as for Lee Hurst WHO DA HELL IS DAT? That’s some Brains Trust the Covid-sceptics have got going there. There you go [Hands the heavy box back to Lynn]. Sophie: Good morning, Ben. Michael: No, no, you see. Alan: Cheers! Paul: You know Skibbereen? Aidan: It amazes me when people say that and it’s only 49 quid on a plane. And Mummy used to say… Alan: There we go. Just to reassure you, the Queen is not dead. Alan: You’re not going to let it go are you? [Alan looks over to Susan and gives her the V’s] This looks disgusting. You bastard! Jed: Do you really? You robot! An Afternoon with Alan Partridge, with special celebrity guest star, Sue Cook.” Alan: Yeah. Aidan: Of what? Jed: Oh brilliant! Jed: I’m sorry, Alan. Alan: If you would. In May 2008 it was announced there is a film adaptation of "I'm Alan Partridge" in pre-production. View Sue Cook’s profile on LinkedIn, the world’s largest professional community. Aidan: Well, there’s U2, of course. Alan: Massacre. The kids are running around. Scene from classic episode featuring Alan doing a version of his talkshow inside a travel tavern. Alan: Thanks very much. I thought I’d take the whole jug in case it’s all quaffed by R2D2 over there. Jed: It must be odd being here in a room being surrounded by photos of yourself. I wondered if you had any more Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge combination packs available. Alan: By all means. Mr Nick Hers, Y Fronts. Jed: No! Yeah, but what about real issues like preventing the pedestrianization of Norwich City Centre? 0.00: with Radio 2 through the night. Two million, and another two million had to leave the country. I wouldn’t be surprised if she went into the kitchen, opened her chest up, stuck in a screw driver and turned her smile up. Oh this is… Oh, that’s bang out of order! I know some people do, but I don’t. Good Afternoon. Jed: I’ll put the kettle on. If they could afford to emigrate, then they could afford to eat in a modest restaurant. Hey “War of the Worlds”. With Steve Coogan, Phil Cornwell, Barbara Durkin, Simon Greenall. I’ve got my ticket. Alan: Yes, I am. Jed: Let’s do an interview. Aidan: What’s that for? A subreddit for fans of Steve Coogan and his legendary character [Alan … Lynn: It smells a bit like gas. Well, where are you? I got my head down all right. Both very clever men, but I don’t trust them. Game birds, such as partridge, are small, cook quickly and have a tendency to dry out during cooking. He sees the cook book and he says “It’d be nee good to me that, would it” Alan: I know, I heard him. If you want to try and cross the Clifton suspension quiz, the prize money has soared to an incredible £11,000. Unwrap your partridge and pat dry with a kitchen towel. If you’re near enough you can take a head shot. I mean, the old image of leprechauns, shamrock, Guinness. “3 pm. Alan: Thank you. I can see that he’s losing the battle for wall space, isn’t he. The woman with the old, er, tadger. I mean, I often look at this in the morning and I think “Oh, I’d like to kiss her”. Ben to Lynn: Can I take that for you? Alan to the audience: Say “Pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre” to anyone, and they’ll probably look blankly at you… [Two men open the door to the room and peer their heads around to look what’s going on] Hello? Alan tries to impress them with his knowledge of Irish things and his "An Afternoon with Alan Partridge" event held in the conference room at the Travel Tavern. We’re not gay! Where I live. Jed: Good. Just clocking the name tag there. Alan: Best friends. He doesn’t know what’s going on. Alan: It’s like Kilroy, but with tea, Wagon Wheels and Sue Cook. [Alan zooms off] Jed: Come back! There’s a chap over there wearing a mask..... chap of about six? This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Alan on the phone: Hello? Join Facebook to connect with Sue Cook and others you may know. People with eyebrows on their cheeks. Dave: Right. It would make me look very important if you would ask for my autograph in front of them. Alan: It is a bit, yeah. Recognition. Couple of gremlins in the system there. Rachel's clothes, including her distinctive suede jacket, have never been found. There’ll always be a kettle on here. Lee Hurst - the least funny one off of They Think It’s All Over (which is saying something.) Eventually, the RTE executives clock on that something isn’t right, and abandon the house. And I’ll be Alan Partridge [Puts an Alan Partridge mask on]. Enya… and the other one. Julia Hartley-Brewer's an eejit! Whoa, take a look in the mirror! Paul: Be nice to go. I’m kind of a homo-sceptic. Aidan: Well, I wouldn’t be depressed. Oh my. Alan: Oh, great. Again, he’s going down. Now we’ve had several calls during the last few hours, about a humorous comment I made some time ago. Alan: Shall we stop talking in this medieval way? Also signed by Partridge cosplayer Richard Madeley! After inviting special guest, Sue Cook, she pulls out at the last minute. Spread the legs wide this will allow the oven heat to even cooking time. and benefits from roasting or braising. Jed: You don’t think my room scared them do you? You wake up in the morning, you’ve got to read all the Sunday papers. Toothless simpletons. One, presumably you think I’m a bit odd and you’d like to leave immediately? Things don’t go too well from the start. And I’m originally from West Cork. What’s your name? @ajjolley And only Sue Cook had actually been in an Alan Partridge episode when in reality they’re now all massive candidates Mar-06,2021 00:56 Likes： 0 Retweets： 0 You can rely on me. Now, your programme… [Irish accent] what’s de big oi-dea. Alan: Oh, Leeds! Aidan: You ever been to Ireland, Alan? Michael: Aye. The other one, burnt down. [Paul switches the light on and reveals a room devoted to Alan, plastered with pictures] Oh, my God. Alan [Mimicking a robot]: Tea or coffee, tea or coffee. Jed: Can you smell gas? Directed by Dominic Brigstocke. I mean the great thing about this hotel is its situation. He claims to have made the Statue of Liberty disappear. I can see what he’s done now. You’re no relation to Robert Maxwell? Lynn, what you were talking about when you went to Skibbereen, as a child. The chest area, here. Michael: It’s nee laughing matter. Jed: No. I’m playing guess the tune. I’m really scared. When you draw your weapon, right, draw your weapon make it as smooth as you possibly can. Sophie to Alan: Oh, there was a call for you. I’m 43, you cheeky git! [Alan ventures into another room, which is pitch black]. I’ve sort of employed it here, like. “He’s a mentalist!” In the classic, timeless I’m Alan Partridge episode “To Kill a Mocking Alan,” Alan … Then afterwards you can talk to Lynn, and me, about Lynn? It’s very false, isn’t it? A subreddit for fans of Steve Coogan and his legendary character [Alan Partridge](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Partridge). Indeed the lines are open if you want to call, make a comment on either architecture or morality, two equally hot, but differently-shaped potatoes. Ingredients. Synopsis: Alan hosts “An Afternoon With Alan Partridge” at the Travel Tavern, which is essentially a scaled down version of his TV chat show, but not on TV. Hmm, that’s a nice smell. How To Cook Partridge: Method. In 1976, I saw ELO at the Birmingham NEC. Alan: I’ve had some pretty late night sessions myself. Alan: You know what that is, don’t you? I MIGHT AS WELL SAY THIS NOW, SUE COOK HAS PULLED OUT. Alan: Yeah. It’s equidistant between London and Norwich. Ie, very, Alan would definitely be an anti mask bellend as well, More posts from the AlanPartridge community. Jed: Go see my brother. Lady at the back. Jed: Where? Jed: I’m just a fan, Alan, that’s all. Our house. I’m your biggest fan. Alan [Singing War of the Worlds]: The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million to one… Michael: Aye, morning. Michael: No, no. Paul: Yes, I saw it. Alan: Oh, “War of the Worlds”, that’s right, yes. Michael: I’m sorry. [Jed taps Alan and holds out his hand for a handshake. Yes, the lounge. Could you just put “Plus Sue Cook”? Please CHECK your SPAM BOXES as some of … Alan: No way, you big spastic! Alan: Good. Shall we go into the…? Did he leave a first name? Method Heat the oven to 200°C/400°F/gas mark 6. Jed: No. [Alan is demonstrating disarming a terrorist on an old woman]. Partridge is also excellent in salad, and this warm partridge salad with crispy Parma ham is a wonderful starter for a supper party. Ben: Yeah. I’m expecting two television executives from RTE who are coming over from Dublin. Partridge’s ‘attraction to Sue Cook’ (a real British TV presenter) also warrants many index entries, such as one for his diary musings from page 124: 15 Dec 1995 – Got drunk and tried it on with Sue Cook. Alan: Just, er… friends. Alan: Right, never heard of him. Alan: Yep, you’re absolutely right. I’ll rip your bloody head off! Aidan: The staff are polite, but it’s as if their smiles are… Lynn: Painted on. Shall I put it on the list with all the others? Alan: Ahh, there you are. I suppose the good thing about this is you can’t hear your Geordie accent on the board. Yes. You go on up, Lynn. Men in platform shoes being arrested for bombings. Alan: I think that’s my breath. Do you remember that man who came up and asked for my autograph earlier? Alan [Fantasising about lap dancing]: You’re sexy. Sorry about that. 00:16:53. So give me a call – PLEASE! It was a good night last night, wasn’t it? But it’s still there. She was so understanding – though witheringly emphatic in her rebuttal. If Pete Gabbitas were still alive, would he have signed it? Not only do you have 150 signatories of this stature and eminence, you’ve also got their fan base to contend with. Worldwide Argentina Australia Brazil Canada France Germany India Indonesia Israel Italy Japan Mexico Russia Saudi Arabia South Africa Spain Thailand Turkey United Kingdom United States South Korea Susan: Certainly. Could we come live from the Blarney Stone? [Music starts playing again]. What’s your name? I suppose the sequel will have a man with a fanny! Alan: Right. Alan: Yeah. So, how many people were killed in the Irish famine? Alan: Ooooh! It’s a nice chest, but full of wires. Lynn to the RTE executives: Where you from in Ireland? So, what did you think? Serve one partridge per person on a bed of red cabbage, with some cranberry jelly as an accompaniment and perhaps some small Jacket Potatoes. Michael: So what do you reckon? This is Jed, he’e my driver. [The RTE executives have seen enough and decide to leave] Some of the boxes are a bit faded, but I was made promises about storage that were not kept. Just coming up to seven o’clock. Susan: Yes it is. Partridge’s affections seem to have transferred somewhat to another real TV presenter (conveniently a more regular sight on British TV nowadays than Sue Cook): Bradbury, Julia 10–11, 12, 13, 193, 223 I always enjoy cooking it, and it seems to punch above its weight when it comes to flavour and texture. Alan to the audience: [Alan is standing behind a screen in front of a keyboard, which is playing “Knowing Me, Knowing You”] A-ha! Alan to his listeners: That was Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark with some classic electro-rock from their album “Architecture and Morality”. A very strange and over-obsessive Alan Partridge fan, who has a devoted room to Alan, and has a tattoo of Alan’s face on his chest (that took 14 hours and he feinted three times). I’ll stay. I like to read the Sunday papers in here. Alan: Chester. Jed: Can I shake your hand again? Alan: Certainly. Actually, it is quite eye-catching. So if anyone wants to leave, then please, now's the time. Lynn: About quarter to 11. Paul: That was interesting. Erm.. . Alan: I don’t know why I bought this painting. Man and machine. Not in Dublin. Alan: I’ll take it, I’ll take it. Alan: It’s those scotch eggs we had at the petrol station last night. I know! Remember the double-tap, bang, bang. If Jed and I are both in the room at the same time, It tend to do this [Leans on the wall] Sort of lean on the wall, like that. I thought it would have broken down by now, but I think I’m slightly constipated. You know, really quick on the draw, quick on the draw! Alan: Yeah. Cut your clove of garlic in half across the equator and place inside the bird along with 2 sprigs of Rosemary. If you ever find yourself in a situation with a concealed weapon, right. Jed: How do you do. 4 x 8 oz (225 g) partridges. Classic Aidan: She was really frightened. Alan: Let’s go! I just want to be your friend, that’s all. Aidan: Oh. I’d love to go. Alan: This is my house. Alan: Actually. Urgh! Episode 5 – I Know What Alan Did Last Summer, Episode 1 – Sue Lewis, Keith Hunt, Shona McGough, Roger Moore, Episode 2 – Daniella Forrest, Petty Officer Alan Partridge, Tony Le Mesmer, Tania Beaumont and Gary Barker. The terrorist is disorientated from the stun grenades. Then remove the lid and let everything cook for another 10 minutes or so to crisp up the skin of the birds. Steve Coogan stars as the lead character, Alan Partridge. Jed: I don’t believe it! Perhaps a metaphor for…. Alan: I know, I heard him. Lynn: Yes, it is. We’ll have that pint. Jed: You’ve done it now. I will get back to you directly asap. I might as well say this now, Sue Cook has pulled out. There we go. Mr T Osser. Alan to Lynn: It’s cutting into my fingers [Hands box back to Lynn] Lynn: Oh, I’m so sorry. Alan: What’s rude about a body? Lynn: Oh, how very thoughtful. Sophie: Is it? The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. I fainted three times. Jed: Well, now you know where I live I hope you’ll not be a stranger. Jed: It’s so nice that you let your fans have a chance to meet you. Oh Cooky...you are as unreliable as you are fit. Sorry, got to go. Jed: Oh, great! I'm Alan Partridge - S01E05 To Kill a Mocking Alan . [Jed walks over to the table, while the RTE executives talk to Lynn]. Will you come and see my brother-in-law next weekend? I think people are saying “Yes, there’s more to Ireland than this”. MY INTERVIEW WITH SUE COOK (Previously blogged on Richard's blog here.) Publications Grab a pew. [The audience groan] So if anyone wants to leave, then please, now’s the time. Aidan [Pointing to a tacky painting]: Is that an original. You’ve come all this way, and it seems to me you are being a little bit negative. Susan: Well, we thought it looked like “body”. Alan: Yeah, they are. Unless I’m reprimanding them, and then I’ll put you across my knee and smack your bare bottoms. Jed: I bet you can’t guess where he lives. He’s the American magician. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.